Update

I thought that maybe we would finally let everyone know what has been happening this past month at our home. On our fifth wedding anniversary, I was pleased to announce to Eric that I was pregnant with number three. After my first doctors appointment, and confirmation, I started cramping an bleeding. I was checked several times and everything looked fine. My blood was taken twice a week for the last four weeks to test the HCG levels. It went from 99 to 86 to 338 to 398 to 536. This has been an emotional roller coaster going back and forth between yes you are and no you are not pregnant. Finally on the 12th of this month, the day after her birthday, the doctor called to confirm that we actually had lost the baby with my HCG going from the 500s to the 200s. What a great birthday gift.....



I went into surgery on Monday morning to remove the rest of the tissue with a D&C. Everything went well, and I am on the road to recovery. I should be physically recoverd tomorrow.....Emotionally, not so much...That's going to take some time.

I don't have words to explain how I feel. I can honestly say though that I am glad this is all over with. I was tired to knowing, then not knowing. At least we can FINALLY move on.

Today is my Birthday.....

My birthday was today...I didn't do anything...maybe next year will be better....
PS My husband forgot my birthday....

Thankful

I have had a really tough week. I have had so many highs and lows I am starting to feel like I am on a roller coaster. I have been elated and bitter and happy and angry and hopeful and hopeless. Mostly though I think I have been more angry than anything and it has reflected onto the way I have dealt with my kids. This morning, I was listening to Josh Groban's Christmas CD and on it there is a song called Thankful. As I listened to it, I thought of my family; my husband and my kids. I decided that even though I may be hurting right now, I need to focus on my those few things I am thankful for. I need to keep thinking positive even when I feel alone. I don't know if any of this makes sense, but it makes sense to me. I can't really put into words what I learned in the duration of this song, but It really helped me in the time i needed it most.

Thankful

Somedays we forget

To look around us

Somedays we can't see

The joy that surrounds us

So caught up inside ourselves

We take when we should give.

So for tonight we pray for

What we know can be.

And on this day we hope for

What we still can't see.

It's up to us to be the change

And even though we all can still do more

There's so much to be thankful for.

Look beyond ourselves

There's so much sorrow

It's way too late to say

I'll cry tomorrow

Each of us must find our truth

It's so long overdue

So for tonight we pray for

What we know can be

And every day we hope for

What we still can't see

It's up to us to be the change

And even though we all can still do more

There's so much to be thankful for.

Even with our differences

There is a place we're all connected

Each of us can find each other's light

So for tonight we pray for

What we know can be

And on this day we hope for

What we still can't see

It's up to us to be the change

And even though this world needs so much more

There's so much to be thankful for

Latest Project Completed

I made this dress for Baeya, just to see if I could do it....I am now working on Christmas stockings and ornaments. I will post them when they are finished.

My right to vote....and stand in line for two hours

Eric and I voted last night. And yes we stood in line for TWO HOURS!!! ......

Only to come home and find that Mr. Obama had already been announced the winner.

But it really did feel good to voice my opinion.

Somedays....

You just have to close your eyes and just shake your head....Ethan found Bayea's old tinkerbell costume on Monday. He REFUSED to take it off!!!! Should I start to worry?

Six

So this is my first one of these things that I did....

6 TV shows:
American idol
CSI Miami
Mythbusters
Fringe
Ace of cakes
Good Eats

6 Favorite Restaurants:
Craigo's
Wendy's
Ho Hut
Chicken rings store.....don't ask
My Kitchen
Breakfast club


6 Things that happened today:
Went to the temple@ 5am
had breakfast
played w/ the kids
took a nap....5 AM PEOPLE....lol
watched Enchanted for the millionth time
went on a date.....i can see into the future

6 Things I am looking forward to:
Thanksgiving
Christmas
New Years
Our 5th wedding anniv.
My mommy and daddy visiting
Eric's mommy and daddy visiting

6 Things on my wish list:
More kids
Porche Cayenne turbo....
world domination
million dollars
toilet made of solid gold
Brad Pitt would stop calling me and asking me to marry him....Doesn't he know that I am happily married?

......as you can tell...i don't ask for much....lol

6 People to tag:
Kristy
Miranda
Renee
Jandre
Kluane
Kalia

Sometimes you just need a good laugh.........

New haircut

I got my haircut yesterday.... I haven't taken any pictures of it, but this is what it looks like...

Projects....

I have been doing alot of crocheting lately these are some of my projects...

I thought that if anyone was interested, I am making blankets and hats to sell for christmas.

Preschool

Baeya started preschool last week. We are doing a program that has all the mom's of the preschoolers teaching. so you have guessed it, I am one of the teachers....poor kids....
The nice thing though is all of the kids in her class live really close together(4 of us all live on the same road). Most of the kids are also in her primary class at church.

I have to admit, it has been pretty nice just having Ethan in the mornings two times a week. He's pretty mellow, so we just hang out, have breakfast together and play alittle before sister gets home.

New BLOG

Just thought I would let you all know that I have started a new blog. You can see it on the right sidebar.

http://marysmarvelousmeals.blogspot.com/

Rantings...a woe is me blog

OK, so this is a post that'll prolly make a couple of you roll your eyes, and may get a couple of you angry, or scared of me but, these are just some honest thoughts.

There have been a couple things on my mind lately that I just want to talk about. I know I should just leave something like this for my journal, but I feel like I need to blog this.

Eric and I have been trying to get pregnant for a year now....This is a shock for those of you who are closest to us. With Baeya, we concieved her right away, but with Ethan we had to have drug intervention....I am just so frustrated because it was so easy with Baeya. Our first try and BAM she was on the way. After her my body just quit working. I don't ovulate. My body is taking my eggs hostage. I don't get it. I keep making up excuses for not being pregnant yet, like I need to loose weight first (which is probably true), or we don't want anymore, or something along those lines, but the truth is, I want another baby. I see my friends and neighbors with their babies(and believe me, around here, there are ALOT) and just ache.

I don't feel like I have the right to "whine" either because I know those who have not experienced child birth and want to so badly. I feel like I should just be happy with the children i have and just leave it be. True is though that I can actually feel my spirit aching to bring another child to this world. I now understand more clearly the meaning of "the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak."

The other thing that has bothered me lately is money. No, we are not exactly "struggling" but we are certainly tight. When I got my job it was just to create some mad money, but now it will all be going to bills. Which is fine, but the bills keep adding up. we keep accumilating bills no matter what we do. Just little things here and there and those things just keep adding up. One thing that bothers me is that we are paying a hefty amount per month on tithing. I feel like that money could be better used on catching up on bills. It's hard to see that money go when I don't feel like we are getting the "blessings" that are suppose to come. It's hard when you know a person who doesn't have the same standards as you who doesn't pay tithing, and see them complaining about all the extra money they are getting. They have "too much to know what to do with." It torks my toes!

I don't know, I guess I am just on a spiritual low. It's hard for me because I am doing all the things you are "suppose" to do, but I am just can't shake it. I am not a typical church member; my house isn't clean, my kids don't behave most of the time, I yell at my kids (which I am positive why half of my neighbors don't talk to me), I have different theological ideals than most members, I get angry, I have a past, I have questions...and yet through it all, have a close relationship with Christ. I don't see myself as a bad member.

My New Job

A few months ago, Eric and I had a talk about me getting a part time job. Just a few hours a week to have a little "me" time and to have adult interaction...plus the bonus of getting paid while I am out.

So a couple weeks ago I submitted my application to Lane Bryant here in IF down Hitt road close to the movie theaters. I got the job. I am going to be working evenings and weekends.

I started last week on Wednesday, I watched a bunch of training videos and helped with the closing.

Saturday was my second day and the store got REALLY busy! Baptism by fire can only describe that day. We were so busy we had a line for the dressing rooms and there are six of them!!!

I think what I enjoy most about Lane Bryant is that their product is really good! I have close that are about 8 years old and they stil seem new.

It Once Was Lost, but Now it's Found....

So, I found my camera....Someone turned it in at the Summer Days 2008 at Taylor's Crossing....

Devistated

I am so angry right now. My camera, my baby, was stolen this week. We are thinking it was on Sunday in the church parking lot. My camera was in the car and that's the only time we can remember possibly not locking our door. I am just sick! There is only one other time in my LIFE that I have been a victim of theft and that too was in a church parking lot. Why? Why would someone take something from someone AT CHURCH?

I am going to be making phone calls tomorrow to pawn shops and I may call the police.

I thought that maybe we put it somewhere in the house, but I have torn my house apart and it's not anywhere to be seen. I thought that maybe my kids hid it somewhere....nothing.

Why does this stuff happen to me? Would you all keep an eye out on craigslist and other places? It's a Cannon Rebel XT DSLR with a telephoto lens, card reader, extra card along with many other things, all wrapped up in a Targus camera bag.

Thanks!

PS: My BRAND NEW sunglasses were in the bag too......gggrrrrrr!!!

Garden Party Frock GIVEAWAY!!!!

This is such a cute dress!!!! Check it out!!!
Garden Party Frock GIVEAWAY!!!!

Update

Has anyone noticed how hard it is to blog in the summer? This is what has been happening these last couple of weeks....
Eric got a new car stereo for his birthday....

We had dinner at our friends' house and had homemade ice cream cake to celebrate

Eric turned 26.....see the 2 and the 6?

We found Bubba sitting on the pot....with his diaper on...is it already time to potty train???

After many months of tears and threatening, we finally cut Baeya's hair....she is very protective of it saying "Don't touch my hair, it's beautiful!" What a Diva!!!!

Are you a "Schlumpadinka?"

schlumpadinka
lazy people with self esteem/value/respect issues, who have given up on themselves, fashion and style that live in over sized t-shirts, sweatpants, black leggings, or think pajama pants are appropriate "going out" attire. Most recently brought to our attention on Oprah, the schlumpadinka is, in most urban centers, an epidemic. For example: The woman in front of you at the gas station/coffee shop/ family restaurant line wearing an outdated windbreaker, some grungy, saggy sweatpants, usually with an outdated hairstyle that is unkempt. Looks like she was probably doing some housecleaning, or perhaps painting her living room. Alas, this is her everyday attire. You speculate, that perhaps she is homeless, or at least low-income. Unfortunately, she's just lazy and doesn't care about her appearance.






I think I would probably fit this description. I was watching Oprah and she had Lloyd Boston, a style expert on. He was giving makeovers and also gave some GREAT advice on fashion. One list he made was 10 staples every woman should have in her closet...I thought I would share them with all of you:

10 Staples for a Woman's Closet

(As advised by style expert Lloyd Boston)

1. A nice bright trench coat. Lloyd said that you should invest in a good trench coat. It's nice to use year-round...many layers or little layers...

2. A black turtle neck. Every woman should have one because you can always dress it up or down and it always hides imperfections in the neck and chin area.

3. Black Trouser. If you have a thinner leg, buy straight leg pants....for larger thighs(like me), buy a wide leg trouser....it hides the "bulk"

4. A nice tunic. Mr. Boston said that it is a classic piece that you can throw on before a party and seem like you are the best dressed.

5. A good white jean. Same rules apply here as they do for black trousers.

6. Dark Jeans. Jeans fade over time..to keep the dark longer, wash them inside out.

7. A Black dress. Every woman needs a black dress...I like how Mr. Boston put it....not everyone looks good in a "little" black dress...buy one that flatters you.

8. A denim jacket. A nice flattering one....give away the one you bought in the 80's. Try a nice white or a dark.

9. A good black skirt. This can be used for a multitude of occasions.

10. Cashmere sweater. Not as expensive as you may think.

Lloyd also advised that women should have flats and a big handbag.

P.S. a rule of thumb with shoes...if you don't think you can wear it with anything, you can wear it with everything.....like lepord print or bright colors.

LETS GO SHOPPING!!!

blog blog blog

Yes, yes, I know.....it has been a long time since I have blogged...but I have a good excuse!!!
I WAS ON VACATION!!!
Here's the proof!!!!

We went to St. Regis, MTfor the fourth...mom in all her sophistcated glory.

RUN AWAY.... IT'S GONNA BLOW!!!!

Panning for gold in the streams near St. Regis

Popsicle sharing with Papa on the front porch in Otis Orchards, WA.

Baeya and cousin Dom drying off and warming up after playing in the water at Aunt Nae nae's.

Baeya and Ethan got to ride on the tractor at Nana and Papa's house...Baeya got to pick Cherries

Ethan got to drive...

We went to Liberty Lake, WA and played in the water at the park. Aunts Nae Nae and Katie were there...Dom was there too.

There are all the girls at the family reunion...Aunt Stephanie bought all the girls

pink hats to support Nana.