Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Are you a "Schlumpadinka?"

lazy people with self esteem/value/respect issues, who have given up on themselves, fashion and style that live in over sized t-shirts, sweatpants, black leggings, or think pajama pants are appropriate "going out" attire. Most recently brought to our attention on Oprah, the schlumpadinka is, in most urban centers, an epidemic. For example: The woman in front of you at the gas station/coffee shop/ family restaurant line wearing an outdated windbreaker, some grungy, saggy sweatpants, usually with an outdated hairstyle that is unkempt. Looks like she was probably doing some housecleaning, or perhaps painting her living room. Alas, this is her everyday attire. You speculate, that perhaps she is homeless, or at least low-income. Unfortunately, she's just lazy and doesn't care about her appearance.

I think I would probably fit this description. I was watching Oprah and she had Lloyd Boston, a style expert on. He was giving makeovers and also gave some GREAT advice on fashion. One list he made was 10 staples every woman should have in her closet...I thought I would share them with all of you:

10 Staples for a Woman's Closet
(As advised by style expert Lloyd Boston)

1. A nice bright trench coat. Lloyd said that you should invest in a good trench coat. It's nice to use year-round...many layers or little layers...

2. A black turtle neck. Every woman should have one because you can always dress it up or down and it always hides imperfections in the neck and chin area.

3. Black Trouser. If you have a thinner leg, buy straight leg pants....for larger thighs(like me), buy a wide leg trouser....it hides the "bulk"

4. A nice tunic. Mr. Boston said that it is a classic piece that you can throw on before a party and seem like you are the best dressed.

5. A good white jean. Same rules apply here as they do for black trousers.

6. Dark Jeans. Jeans fade over time..to keep the dark longer, wash them inside out.

7. A Black dress. Every woman needs a black dress...I like how Mr. Boston put it....not everyone looks good in a "little" black dress...buy one that flatters you.

8. A denim jacket. A nice flattering one....give away the one you bought in the 80's. Try a nice white or a dark.

9. A good black skirt. This can be used for a multitude of occasions.

10. Cashmere sweater. Not as expensive as you may think.
Lloyd also advised that women should have flats and a big handbag.
P.S. a rule of thumb with shoes...if you don't think you can wear it with anything, you can wear it with everything.....like lepord print or bright colors.


Arin said...

I remember her saying that if you wear tennis shoes for something other than they gym you are teetering on the edge of being a Schlumpadinka. I guess that means I can join the club with you! Is it bad that sometimes when I wear my pj pants to run to Wal-Mart I think to myself, "I know I look "grand" but at least I'm not the worst dressed or most unkempt person here."

tonksfam said...

Well...he makes me sound silly for always saying that turtle necks look TERRIBLE on me. I think that would be the only one I would refuse to do ;) The bright trench is an interesting idea.

Miranda said...

What a funny post! I remember that show as I sat watching it on my couch in my pajama pants thinking, "Yep that is what I am" And I agree with Arin about going to Walmart.... It can be a real self esteem boost!

Justin, Kalia, & the little nippers said...

I don't think turtlenecks are for everyone either, but if they aren't then you fake it with a mockneck which isn't quite so high. I have a shortneck, and mocks are better for me :-)

meggiejo said...

Mary!!! How are you doing girl!! I have not talked to you in soooooo long. We have been crazy busy all the time I always think things will slow down but they don't. I am so sorry we missed each other this summer, it would have been great to see you and visit. And I totally think you all should come and visit. Just think free room and board in Germany!!! Well you have one more year before we head out! Eric looks just the same as he did 8 years ago when Bryce and I got married. I watched your video everyone talked about it when we were in Spokane and I thought it was a really special tribute to your mom. Any way we need to keep in touch. Good friends are hard to come by and it sucks to loose them. Take care and hopefully I will hear from you soon. you can e-mail me also. meganjoshafer@ hotmail.com